Attempted Suicide – Forever Immortal?

I finally managed to recover all my passwords, including this blog. I’m going to keep exposing the truth here.

I used to think that taking your own life was an act of cowardice — a sign of weakness. I never imagined a life with so many injustices. I never imagined there could be such interventions in a human body and in human reality. Only I know how much I’ve suffered. Below is a text I wrote on 06/26/2025 describing one of my three suicide attempts.

A few months ago, I stole some paracetamol pills again. The previous time I had taken 20 pills and absolutely nothing happened. This time I had 33 pills, and I really hoped that would finally put an end to everything.

I had tried. I had fought. I had done my best. But I couldn’t handle so much pain and torture in my mind anymore. Sleep deprivation for months. And when I finally managed to sleep, I had dreams that didn’t feel like mine.

Crimes were being committed behind the scenes. I almost died several times. I felt waves of shocks on my head just as I was about to fall asleep. One man even gave me a drink at some point and said, “Everything is fine.” How could it be, after more than six months under what felt like torture?

They tried to frame me as a pedophile. They tried to fill my mind with wave after wave of pornography. When there were children around me, they would suddenly send shocks into my penis. That happened several times. Somehow, they seemed to have control over my body.

I hadn’t really lived for months — no sex, no friends, no social life, no family. They stole everything from me. It’s hard to believe. I feel no one deserves this. I’m a good person. I used to work hard, go to the gym, take care of myself. But it became too much. I had to fight forces I didn’t even know the origin of. I cried, and even that seemed to affect my body. Someone was painting me wrongly, as always. And if there is a life after this one, I will never forgive the people who did this to me.

Before I left, I had written down some nicknames of the people — or as I liked to call them, “little shits” — who were in my mind since the beginning. Most of them spoke Portuguese.

  • Ethan Moore Philip — I met him one night. He was drunk and said someone had stolen $300 from his pocket. I felt he also had mental issues. I did some research, found his name on Gematrix and his Instagram, but he introduced himself as “Clown.”

(At that time I also wrote: “Just saw someone next to me having a health issue – 8:23 p.m.”)

Other nicknames I was being called or tortured with:

  • Dois Psicopatas
  • Matheus do Hospital
  • Narcisio
  • Narcizinho
  • Raphael dos Anjos
  • Raphaelzinhos
  • Felipe
  • Felipinho
  • Mamaezinha de um, mamaezinha de outro
  • Sinhazinha
  • Professorinha
  • Dark Server
  • Alien
  • Alien do Bem (referring to myself at that point)
  • Demonho
  • Demonhão
  • Server de Macumba
  • Iazinha do Mustang
  • “Pegaram o cara errado” (in a high-pitched voice)

There are still some names missing.
I noticed I found some peace when I started thinking in English — it seemed like they weren’t allowed to speak Portuguese inside English minds.

That day, “369” was an important number in what I called my first alternative reality — the Matrix — which I believed they had put me in. It looked like it should have been an incredible experience because there was a kind of game behind it about twin flames. But I suspected someone had moved me from my original “server,” using me as a human shield and living like king with another man. Cuz I saw some pretty weird codes on gematrix. Like: "policeman: 666" "I like girls: 666" so basically everything is about demons. Other server about homosexuals. And another one about kids. Like pregnant woman's and baby's everywhere. Was hard to see a pretty girl with my age at some stage of this. I basically running from invisible shits and voices on my head.

I hope I can put a end on this shit now. That's not a life anymore. If someone else tried to help somehow my sincerily gratitude.
26/06/2025 6:52 pm



So if we’re forever immortal, why is there so much pain, so much injustice, and why am I still here after all?

P.S.: Absolutely nothing happened to me after this episode, and the torture kept going.




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